The Present

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." -Philippians 3:12-16

With graduation less than two months away, I'm entering into a new season of transition. Everyday I'm bombarded with hundreds of wildly exciting and scary thoughts of the future. I dream of college, where I'll be living, the people I'll meet and the places I'll see. But I also worry- about leaving my family, the mistakes I'll make and how I'll make it in such a huge city. And I dwell- I think deeply on my past, the good and the bad, what I'll be leaving behind and how all of it will shape me.

I get so caught up in this tug-of-war between the past and the future that I forget to live in the present. Pulled in a thousand different directions by a a thousand different thoughts, I struggle in this never ending limbo between what has happened and what has yet to come. Living as a vagabond between the past and the future, I deny myself of one of the greatest gifts God has to offer me: the present.

When I plan my life based on my past and what I expect for my future, I create a false allusion for myself that I have it all together. I think I know everything based on my past and that I've have everything mapped out based on what I think my future holds. But truth be told, I know absolutely nothing. I realize the utter bankruptcy of my soul only when God invades my heart and whispers, You don't have control over this. I do. Let go. And press into my presence.

So I'm letting go. I declare that I have nothing apart from God. But in Him, I have exceedingly more than I could ever ask or imagine. My goal is this: To press into His presence in each present moment. To endure for the joy that is set before me. And to live up to the grace I have already attained. For in Christ, there is no other standard to which we hold ourselves. I'm abandoning my efforts to compete with my past self and measure up to the image of me I want to attain. Instead, I'm living into the identity to which Christ has called me: Grace. Purely, simply Grace. I'm taking hold of that for which Christ took hold of me, to press into His mercy, to press into His sufficiency, and to press into His purpose for me in the present. His presence in this present moment is enough for me.

Choose the Adventure

 



When people found out that I got into the University of Texas, they were ecstatic. Everyone told me how proud of me they were, how hard it was to get into UT and what an accomplishment that was. However, when they found out that I was actually considering going there, they thought I was crazy. Absolutely out of my mind. So many people told me I would never fit in there, that they couldn't picture me there and that it was totally the wrong college for me.

In all honestly, even I think this is all a little crazy. But God has an incredible way of taking even the craziest situations and turning them into the most beautiful stories.

Up until early March, I was totally set on Baylor. I knew whom my roommate would be, where I would be living, how all the finances would line up. I was set. I was absolutely positive that Baylor was where I was meant to be. I never thought I would get into UT, so I never really considered it as an option. And even I thought that UT was the wrong place for me, that there was no way in a million years I would ever go there.

But then I found out I actually got in. I screamed into the phone when my mom called me and told me, mainly because I knew how hard it was to get in and I was mind blown that they accepted me. As much as I loved Baylor and in that moment believed that was the place for me, God kept placing UT on my heart in the days that followed. The more I researched it, the more intrigued I became and felt a really weird stirring in my heart that I should keep pursuing this path and see where it lead.

One night I called my sweet friend Laurena and asked her about her experience at UT. She told me all of the amazing things God was doing in Austin and how she had grown so much in her walk with God there. The stories of her faith encouraged me so much and gave me a little more hope that I might be able to thrive there.

Out of all the experiences and stories she shared with me, one thing she said stuck with me the most. She told me to choose the adventure, because that was where I would grow the most in my faith and as a person. And in that moment I knew UT was the adventure.

If you know me, you know I'm not typically an adventurous person. I can be pretty shy and quiet at times. I'm a huge over-thinker and worrier. I love to plan things out and know every detail of the next step I'm going to take. So when God laid on my heart that this was the adventure on which He wanted to take me, I flipped out a little bit. But this past weekend when I finally went to see the campus and explore the city and meet other believers thriving there, I knew. I knew that Austin was the place to which God was calling me, and that I could trust Him in this adventure.

Throughout this whole decision making process, God has reshaped my definition of adventure. When we say yes to God, we say yes to a life full of grand adventures with Him. We say yes to living outside of out comfort zone and diving into the infinite depth of His presence. We say yes to trusting that He is our provider, our comforter and our steadfast foundation through every season. We say yes to being completely dependent on Him and leaving no room for fear in our hearts. We saying yes to enduring through this marvelously messy journey for the joy that is set before us. And we say yes to boldly walking with Him daily, even when we don't know what the next step will look like.

So I'm diving into His deep, living waters. I'm drinking in all of Him in each present moment, expectantly awaiting this new season of my life. And I'm saying yes to this crazy adventure He's placed on my heart. Will you say yes with me?