Sunday, December 29, 2013

Closer

Last week I visited the Lanier Theological Library in Houston for the first time. And let me tell you, I was in book nerd/bible nerd heaven. The smell of old books to me is intoxicating (go ahead, call me weird), and there were hundreds of them. And I just about died when I saw the C.S. Lewis collection. It was a struggle for me not to scream in my typical over-excited teenager squeal when I saw all of his handwritten letters on display in a library where you are supposed to keep everything to a whisper. Honestly, I was the epitome of giddy.

As my friend Lauren and I perused the library, utterly in awe of its magnificence, we stumbled upon some artifacts on display.  The artifacts dated back hundreds of years, some even back to the time when Jesus walked the earth.

"I know it's a stretch," I said to Lauren, "but what if Jesus actually touched one of these pitchers, one of these bowls? How cool would that be?"

"It's almost makes you feel closer in a way," she responded. "It's something tangible from his time, something we can actually grasp and feel. It's hard to describe, but it just makes you feel closer."

And it made me think about how we all crave that feeling of "closer". If we could just see God in the flesh, touch His hand and audibly hear His voice, then we would feel closer. Then we would really know He's there. We crave the security that tangibility offers us, and sometimes it's really hard for us to wrap our minds around a God we can't see or feel.

We get so caught up in searching, so caught up in trying to do more and be more so we can get to God, we forget to be still and see that He is right in front of us and all around us. He meets us where we are- there's no searching, journeying or working to find His presence and attain salvation. He is right here. And He wants you to receive Him and allow His Holy Spirit to bridge the gap between you and Him. He wants to close that space, to abide in you and you in Him. He wants to provide for you that need to be "closer" until the need is filled by the life of Jesus poured into every crevice of your soul, every fiber of your being.

I invite you today to lay down all your efforts to work for your salvation, all your efforts to journey to God. God hasn't called us to trek towards Him and work to find Him. He stands right in front of us with open hands calling us to open our hearts, to allow Him to meet us where we are and drench our souls in His grace. This is the "closer" we crave. And he has come to fill it.



Wednesday, December 18, 2013

When I Grow Up...

I've come to the age where I'm starting to make what the little kids I babysit would call "grown-up choices." I'm enrolling in college. I have a job. I'm having to manage my time and money more on my own. And in about 16 days I'll embark on the "golden" age of 18, the age envied by every child in a hurry to grow up, the grand age of independence. It's all a little scary because the question we were all asked as children of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question I'll soon have to answer. And in all honesty, I have no idea.

Yesterday as I was babysitting, a paleontologist came on the TV screen to talk about dinosaurs and digs and all the things paleontologists do that kids find fascinating. I looked over at little four year-old Audrey, who was intently watching the screen, and asked her if that was what she wanted to be when she grew up. She responded no.

"Well," I asked her, "What do you want to be then?"

"I want to be Audrey." She responded with confidence.

I was expecting anything but that answer. A ballerina, an artist, a doctor. Anything. But instead she responded with the best possible answer: herself.

I feel like so often I get caught up in who I want to be that I forget who I really am. I forget that God fearfully and wonderfully crafted me out of the dust into His beloved creation. I forget that He is using me right where I am, and that he'll lead me where I'm meant to be. And I forget that I don't have to focus on creating my "perfect" version of me, but rather be rooted in my God created identity.

In those moments where I find myself despairing over my future, I hear God saying that He already has it written out. He calls me not to worry but rather to receive Him in this moment and trust that he has plans to give me a hope and a future. Daily He unwraps a little more of who He has created me to be and shows me just how much He truly treasures who I am. He has crafted each of us as jewels in His hands, and I feel like His heart breaks as He watches me be critical of His creation, of me. There is so much peace that comes in resting in our God given identity in this moment and trusting that daily He is shaping us according to our individual kingdom callings.

The crazy thing about trusting God with our identities is that as we trust Him more, we find that we look less like ourselves and more like Jesus. When we accept Christ into our hearts and die to ourselves, we find ourselves being molded more and more into the image of Christ. While we will never be perfect, we become more Christ-like and find that is where our true identities lie, in Christ. As I journey deeper and deeper in the search for myself, somewhere along the way I lose myself and find Christ. And in losing myself, I find who I was meant to be: a daughter of the Lord and a reflection of Christ.

So what do I want to be when I grow up? Not a psychologist. Not a missionary. Not an author or any of the other dreams I've conjured for my future.

I want to be me. Purely and simply me. The me that God has created me to be, the me that looks less like myself and more like Jesus. And I think that's that best thing anyone could want to be.

Friday, December 6, 2013

My Declaration

At the beginning of the school year, I was assigned to write a personal declaration of independence from something in my own life that I had grievances against. I felt it pressed on my heart to declare my independence from sin and my dependence on Christ. Reading over it again, I was reminded to press harder into Christ and be completely dependent on Him daily. And I'm hoping these words might serve as a catalyst for others to make their own declaration as well.

{My Declaration}
Having been caught in the snares of the supernatural strikes against my soul, I am left no choice but to make a desperate declaration of independence from the sin that suffocates me. Since birth I have been in bondage to a darkness not of this world that has invaded the ill-guarded territory of my heart. I refuse to be a slave any longer to this insatiable master of sin. I not only declare, but demand my independence.
I proclaim that my life will be a declaration of the promises straight from the mouth of the one who embodies Truth. His life giving words will be etched into my heart so that the unwavering truth of my freedom will be self-evident to every fiber of my being. No longer will I be pressed under the heavy thumb of an all-consuming darkness; rather I will be wrapped in the life-giving light that is my Savior and Creator. My identity will never again be broken, forgotten, insufficient, and unloved. The identity to which I've been entitled under the authority of grace is redeemed, beloved, restored and set apart. 
Daily sin has beleaguered me in a relentless pursuit. Until this day of my declaration, sin has severed the relationship with Christ I was destined to obtain. Sin unswervingly served as the opaque veil that stood between my savior and me over the course of my life. The remedy prescribed since the beginning of time has been the sacrifice of perfect blood to atone for the wrongs to which I've been enslaved . But my blood runs thick with impurities that invalidate the sufficiency of any sacrifice I could offer. God looked at me in my broken and tainted condition and had compassion on my heart which He fearfully and wonderfully formed. Deeply loving me and the rest of the sin enslaved world, He sacrificed the only person whose blood could ever rightfully atone for sin: His son. The formula for the remedy to my seemingly incurable maladies was God in flesh sacrificed on the altar of a rugged cross. He paid the price I deserved to pay for my sins and bled the blood that was I supposed to bleed. And he was resurrected to life so that I might walk in newness of life with Him, free from the snare of sin. His remedy is purely and simply grace. And He offers it to anyone who would receive it. 
The grave could not hold Him and death itself could stop Him. And He has set me free that I might proclaim these grievances against sin so that it would no longer serve as my feeble crutch but rather so my dependency would lie solely in Christ.
Sin sucked the marrow from my bones and made me void of any true life.
Sin bound me tightly in chains that wore calluses on my soul.
Sin made me feel as worthless as the dust from which I was created and to which I will return.
Sin stripped me of my God ordained identity and eroded me to the core.
Sin robbed me of every ounce of self worth until I was no longer a diadem in the hand of the King but rather the remains of useless ashes.
I have pursued every mean of action to rid myself of the effects of these grievances listed. I have performed every good deed, I have worked myself till exhaustion and explored every logical method in the world. I pushed myself into the ground trying to earn my own salvation, and I was never enough. Everything I did only amounted to a pile of ash and a desperate, empty heart. In my moment of desperation, there was only one thing left to do: to receive the grace that is more than enough to sustain me and redeem me from the pit. No longer am I caught in a vicious cycle of aimlessly attempting to save myself. I declare that I am free from sin and that darkness has no power over me. My independence from sin also serves as my declaration of complete dependence on my Savior. I will walk the straight and level path paved for me by Christ, and rejoice unfettered by any malicious maladies.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Melt

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human or a husband's will, but born of God." -John 1:12-13

I am innately an independent, strong-willed, stubborn person. I often push myself to ridiculous limits thinking I can handle all I have weighing on my shoulders on my own. I like handling responsibility and feeling strong and accomplished about all I've done. What I don't like is the feeling of dependency. It's such an uncomfortable place to be for me. Dependency requires me admitting my weakness and need. It requires confessing that I can't do it all on my own, that I can't handle everything weighing on my shoulders, and I need help.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my cycle of stubborn independence, I feel almost like machine. I feel like I'm made of cogs chiseled out of stone, constantly turning and moving, only slowing down from rust and erosion from being over worked. I end every day feeling exhausted and burned out with nothing left to give, only to wake up another day and give my all again. And I am tired of churning and cranking out the products I think will please the world. I want so much more. I need so much more.

What I need is for my heart to melt. I need Jesus to come in with His all consuming fire and melt my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that is beating to the rhythms of His grace. My whole spirit cries out to be melted, to break free from the vicious cycle of independence and find rest in sweet dependence on Christ. I need Christ to come and put to death this relentless machine monotonously cranking within me and resurrect in me His refreshing, sustaining life.

One thing I so admire about the children for whom I care is their unashamed dependency. They never hesitate to recognize their need and ask for it. They ask boldly, unabashedly, and confident that they will be provided what they need because they trust that I can provide for them. When I received Christ, I was adopted into His kingdom as a child of God, and He declared me His daughter. I was designed from day one to be dependent on Christ and lean into His Holy Spirit daily through relationship. And He desires for me to come to Him, abandoning my shame attached to my independent spirit, and boldly trust Him with my every need. When I dare to be dependent and step out of my comfort zone, it is then that I find rest. It is then that I fulfillment.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Singleness of Heart

Jeremiah 32:37-41

I will surely gather them from all the lands where I banish them in my furious anger and great wrath; I will bring them back to this place and let them live in safety. They will be my people and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and of action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them; I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul. 

I have a confession.

I have cheated.

I'm not talking about in school, although I'm sure every person who has lived through high school can attest to having shared answers at some point. I'm talking about in my walk with God, the most important relationship in which to stay faithful. While proclaiming God as the Lover of my soul, I've entertained the affections of the most unworthy of suitors.

I have loved pride.

I have loved worldly approval.

I have loved my selfishness.

I have loved having control.

And I have been completely consumed with doubt.

These suitors, while innately dark and gnarled with sin, whispered beautiful things to my soul. They told me I could do it all on my own, that I was strong and self sufficient enough to barrel through life as a completely independent person. They told me that measuring up to the standards of this world was a reputable thing that I should pursue for the sake of an ideal identity. They told me that I knew best and that I needed to look out for myself. They told me that I could have power over my circumstance if I pushed myself hard enough. And they told me that the solid truth in which I had rooted my life was a shaky foundation and that trusting in anyone but myself was a risky gambit. All these voices harmonized in my mind to fabricate a glorious image of myself, one that I naturally craved to attain.

These deep desires turned into insatiable needs that competed with the One true need I had professed to wholeheartedly pursue: Jesus. When I accepted Jesus, He called me out upon stormy waters, and asked only that I keep my eyes on Him and simply believe. With eager anticipation, I stepped out in faith and began my pursuit. But then I saw the clouds. And the waves. And the rain. And the lightning. And those voices began to speak sweet lies to my soul. The second I took my eyes off of Jesus, the second I doubted and believed in voices other than His, I sank.

As I deservedly drowned in the stormy seas to which I had become helplessly enslaved, He did something incredible: He reached down and pulled me out and set me back on solid ground.

That is grace. Purely and simply grace.

When I deserve to drown in the fury of the storms, He never fails to bring me back to the safe refuge of His embrace. When I deserve complete and total separation from Him, He unites me with Him in a grip of grace where He eternally abides in me and I in Him. He has declared me His daughter and He my God. And though my wayward heart is tempted to succumb to look to the world, He instills in me a singleness of heart solely set on pursuing Him. And because everything we do flows out of what we believe, He provides me with a singleness in my actions as I walk the straight and level paths He has set before me. He challenges me to rise up as one in a generation of many to leave a legacy of undivided faith to those generations to follow. His promise stands true to never stop weaving our story together for our good and ultimately the good of His kingdom. He passionately rejoices over us as we pursue Him and taste His goodness. And with the entirety of His divine heart and soul, He pours into us and plants us in the peace of His presence.

He is good. He is all I need. And I have returned to Him to forevermore proclaim Him the only true lover of my soul.

Madelynn

Monday, September 2, 2013

Scars and Stories

I'm passionate about many things, but about writing especially. Most nights I stay up until early hours of the morning journaling and blogging and reading the writings of older, wiser minds. I drink in words like a caffeine addict drinks coffee- deeply and dependently. I lie awake at night dreaming of marvelous stories that have yet to be breathed into life on the empty canvases of my journal pages. Stories have always had a way of evoking a deeper part of me I keep buried too often, a part of me that cries out to be cultivated with pen and paper. So when God speaks to my heart that He's already written out my story, my heart stops for a moment.

Being so strongly attached to stories, I have a deep desire to write out my own. In my mind, there's no better dreams than the dreams I've already conjured, and there's no better story that the one I've already written out in my heart. So often I get to a place where I become so consumed with bringing my life-story to fruition and trying to edify my perfect version of my future that I forget to pause and focus on this present moment I'm in. I forget to receive this present moment as a gift from God, and take Him at His word when He whispers to my heart that this life is not my own, that I wasn't designed to direct my own steps (Jeremiah 10:23). That always has been and always will be His job. He's hemmed me in- behind and before, and His sovereign hand guides me and protects me. All the days ordained for me were written out in His book before one of them came to be (Psalms 139: 16).

He's already fearfully and wonderfully woven together a story far better than the one I cling to so tightly, the one I fight so hard to preserve. And He gently looks on me in my broken condition and whispers, "Let go. I've got this. You weren't made for this, Daughter. I've already written it all out. I'm here fighting this battle for you."

So I let go. I listen to his voice. And I learn what it is to receive this present moment as a gift and cherish that I have a God who loves me enough to have already written out my future for me and provides for me in this moment. I rejoice that my identity is set in Him and I don't have to be a product of my exhausted, inadequate efforts. I am His. And He is enough.

Just when I think that I've been humbled enough, that I've been laid as low as it gets, He takes me a little deeper. He shows me that He hasn't written out my story in the way I perceive writing. He hasn't penned down the details of my life with an ink pen on paper that can be ruined in a downpour or charred in a flame. The life and identity He's laid out for me is not wavering. It's been set in stone. For He's engraved my name and my identity on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16), and He is the eternally unshakeable rock (Isaiah 26:4), the cornerstone upon which all life is founded (Isaiah 28:16 & Ephesians 2:20). And my name is written on the same palms that were pierced with nails and scarred by the sacrifice paid for my sins.  In those palms, in those scars my identity is found. For from those scars blood poured in place of my own so that the price I couldn't pay for my sins would be paid in full. In those scars, I've received life and healing. In those scars, I find proof that I am beloved. And that is my identity. That is my story boiled down to one word. Purely and simply beloved. And it is a far better story than I could have ever written.

Friday, August 16, 2013

My Name Is...


 Isaiah 62:2-5 & 11-12

…you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the Lord will bestow.
You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted,
 or name your land Desolate.

…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.

The Lord has made proclamation
to the ends of the earth:
“Say to Daughter Zion,
‘See, your Savior comes!
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.’”
They will be called the Holy People,
the Redeemed of the Lord;
and you will be called Sought After,
the City No Longer Deserted.

 For too much of my life, I was rendered voiceless under the pressing weight of the identities given to me by others and the titles with which I identified myself. I was caught in the chaos of a lifelong identity crisis, torn by all the things I was told I should be, the things I wanted to be and the things I wasn’t. I was empty and longing for a fullness of purpose I thought an identity could provide.

I wanted my name to be Good. Smart. Composed. Talented.

I wanted my name to be Beautiful. Beloved. Treasured. Valued.

And most of all I wanted my name to be Enough. I wanted to meet the standards set for me by myself and by others. I wanted to feel like my works were sufficient and pleasing to those who mattered to me.

Instead of Enough, my name became Empty and Insufficient.

Instead of Beautiful, my name became Rejected and Unwanted.

And instead of Composed, my name became The Mess.

I felt helpless under the weight of all the identities I carried around daily. I would constantly look for new ways to discover myself and create myself, to become the perfect version of me I’d always dreamed I would be. My pursuit for freedom in perfection became the thing that enslaved me. I was caught in a vicious cycle of seeking fulfillment and stability in an empty and unstable world.

As my heart began breaking under the pressure of my pursuits, God looked down on me, and His heart broke with mine. When I cried out in the midst of my desperation, He reached down through the darkness and restored my life. He erased every shame bearing name chained to my heart and breathed His life into me. And with this new life, He also gave me a new name.

No longer am I called Deserted or Desolate.

My name is Daughter of the King.

My named is Redeemed of the Lord.

And my name is Sought After by God.

I am precious in His sight. In His eyes, I am a crown of splendor in His hand. He treasures my heart and He desires all of me. He loves me with a divine and reckless love; as a bridegroom delights over his bride, so the Lord rejoices over me. The same mouth that breathed the stars into being also sings songs of praise over me. The same hands that laid the foundations of creation and wove time itself into being are the same hands that hold my heart. And His Holy Spirit whispers to my heart daily that I am beloved by my Creator, and that is solely where my identity lies.

Each of us is named His Beloved, no matter the names we’ve held in the past. And He longs for us to rest in the infinite peace of His presence in which our true identity is found. He hears our every desperate cry and His heart breaks along with ours. And He desires to restore our breaking hearts to new life and write on them a new name: Redeemed.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My Undoing

I have an innate desire to have control. While it's something I give to God everyday, I will always be in a battle with my flesh to put to death that natural desire that tempts me. And because of this desire, I strive to obtain the image of myself I want to see, to keep my composure controlled and comfortable. I like being what others consider put-together, and I push myself to meet unrealistic standards. I go into this vicious cycle believing the lie that I will come out empowered, and instead come out of it tired and empty with all of my human efforts exhausted.

In the midst of attempting to weed through in my mind what are lies and what is truth, I remember the one truth that brings me to my knees every time.

Christ did not come and die for my salvation so that my Earthly composure and image would be maintained. He came to wreck my earthly self to the core.

Christ came to be my undoing. For when my earthly life is unraveled, the life I try so hard to weave together on my own, space is created for the Holy Spirit to come and weave together a story far greater than I could ever create.

I was not created to be put together by my standards. No, rather I was created for a holy destruction that could only lead to the edification of the image of Christ in me. When I die to myself, Christ is resurrected in me. I was not born again as a daughter of Christ to refine myself and become a better version of me; I was created anew to be a mirror of Christ, to reflect Him in everything I do so that more people draw near to Him and not to me.

He meant it when He said He is the "Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" (Revelation 22:13). He is the eternal God who always has, and always will be. He is the Sovereign God who chooses to come and live in us. He is our undoing, but in our undoing His Holy Spirit weaves us together into something incredible: the reflection of His son.

We will never be perfect; our human condition hinders us from being perfect mirrors. That is what grace is for. But once we realize our purpose as a mirror, that our lives can only be woven together when they come undone, it reshapes everything. We become more intentional to not only be Jesus to people, but to see Jesus in those we encounter everyday. For Jesus said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 26:40).

Every person is the least of these. Every person is hungry for something greater than themselves, for a need they cannot provide. And once we take on life in Christ, we are called to intentionally meet the least of these where they are as Jesus did, and treat them as if they were Jesus, as if we were pouring into and loving on the Son of God Himself.

Let Christ be your undoing and your becoming, where you end and where you begin. Being overwhelmed in the aftermath of Grace is a beautiful place to be. And it's where our identity lies.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

The Author

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

So often I hear people say, "Just give God control of your life," and I hadn't really thought about what exactly that meant until recently. I'd say it in my prayers all the time, that I was giving God control. And then I thought about it- it's really impossible for us to give God control because we can't give to God what we never had in the first place. We have never been in control of our lives. It is not us that ordain the universe or write out the scripts for our futures. We don't breathe life into existence with a single sigh or number every star and know them by name. That is and always has been God. So why do we so often say that we are giving Him control?

Each of us has an innate desire to have control over our lives; we've had it since the day we were born. When we give our hearts to Christ, it becomes a daily struggle to surrender the war to have control over our lives and realize that He is truly in control. The greatest peace we could ever experience comes when we surrender the war for control and find victory in Christ, who is the author and perfecter of our faith and our lives. The desire for control can be something we can become so easily enslaved to, and when we fight for control over what we desire we end up caught in a vicious cycle of sin because our desires are never pure and perfect like God's.

The good news for those like me that have been enslaved in the battle over control- Christ came to set us free.

He took on the cross and bore the shame we were supposed to bear to pay for the sinful cycles we succumb to and conquered death so that we would be free from sin and free from all that enslaves us. And He took it all on with joy, knowing that His sacrifice would bring freedom to you, His beloved. He sits at the right hand of the throne of God today as the divine author and perfecter that He has always been.

We don't have to be enslaved any longer. Freedom comes in surrendering the war for control to the one who has had control all along. Freedom comes when we stop trying to steal the pen from the author who is writing a far better life story than our minds could ever conjure.

Be brave. Surrender. And live in His sweet freedom today.

Friday, June 7, 2013

The Fixer

Psalms 145:13-14

The Lord is faithful to all his promises, and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all those who are bowed down.

I am a very, very self critical person. Probably one of the most self critical people you will ever meet honestly. I have a horrible habit of beating myself up whenever I mess up, even in small ways. I constantly think of ways I can fix what I did or how I can improve my actions in the future so the mistake I made won't happen again. I am innately a fixer at heart. While my desire to fix broken things in me and around me can be a good motivator to do better sometimes, it ultimately exhausts me at the end of most days and leaves me more stressed than satisfied.

I had one of these self-critical moments when I was running the other day (which is a rarity with my schedule and energy level). I hadn't run in months, so I had to stop and take a break in the middle of a two mile run. As I sat on a bench to catch my breath, I beat myself up over how I'm so weak, how I used to be so much faster, how two miles shouldn't kill me like this, how I should keep going instead of stopping.

And then God gently whispered to my heart in that moment in only the way He does. Not in an audible voice, but rather a stirring in my heart that breathed wisdom into my soul.

"Daughter- when you were a child and you were learning to walk, did your Father scold you and punish you when you fell and scraped your knee? No- rather he lovingly picked you up and helped you start walking again. It's the same way with me- you're still learning to walk through life, and you always will be learning. I will lift you every time you fall. Have grace for yourself the way I have grace for you."

And then a peace came over me. It's so hard for me to have grace for myself when I fall. I want blame myself so I can fix it. I muddle through the guilt that builds up everyday until it becomes to much. But in the stillness of the moments when my heart rests in His presence, I am reminded that I am not a fixer, nor was I designed to be. That job belongs to God alone, and I'm learning to lay at His feet every little thing I can't fix. And I'm reminded that guilt is not from God, that shame comes from the enemy. In God there is no guilt, only grace, only love.

Have grace for yourself today, and let God be the fixer. Let the truth of His fatherly grace settle in your soul and bring you peace.

Madelynn

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Dance

Psalms 149:3-4

Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to Him with the tambourine and harp. For the Lord takes delight in His people; He crowns the humble with salvation.

Today I stepped outside and let the rain soak my skin for a few minutes. I don't know why, but this is something that always soothes my soul. It makes me smile just to think of fat raindrops exploding on my skin as the trees around me dance and bend to the sound of thunder. I danced along with the rain and the trees for a moment, like the childish five-year old at heart that I am.

As I danced in the rain, I thought about how I used to long to dance with a boy in the rain, a boy who would sweep me off my feet and make me whole. I would dream about this boy as a young girl, and my expectations kept getting bigger as I grew older and waited for a prince charming who would take my hand and dance with me through storms and walk with me through life.

As I danced and thought about these things, God gently whispered through the storm, "Dance with me, daughter."

I smiled at the sky through the rain and thought how good it is to have a God who not only waters the ground beneath my feet but the soul beneath my skin as well. I marveled at how incredible and humbling it is that the mighty God of the universe who breathed the stars into their place chooses to communicate with us in simple whispers through the rain. And I thought about how divine His love is above any other, how no earthly relationship could ever compare to the deep love that is experienced in drawing close and dancing with the Father.

God desires to dance with you, His beloved child. As you humbly step away from your busy life that divides your attention and draw near to Him in an intimate relationship, He graces your heart with a crown of salvation. His love is far greater than any love any person on earth could offer us.

Dance with your Father today. Rejoice in this divine love you have with Him as He delights in you, His beloved.

Madelynn.

Courage

1 Corinthians 16:13

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.

It's so easy for me to look around at others and think I am not a very brave person. When I think of bravery, I think of firefighters risking their lives to save others, missionaries giving up everything and traveling to third-world countries, or pastors imprisoned and tortured for the sake of the gospel. I don't think of average me sitting in my room reading books or babysitting down the street or blogging late into the night or any of my other day-to-day activities. My mundane, everyday actions are not what I consider brave.

But God whispers to my heart that I can be brave, and that bravery doesn't have to be big.

While risking your life to save others or sacrificing everything for a cause is certainly courageous, courage is not always in the form of grand gestures. God doesn't ask for our actions or our sacrifice, He asks for our heart and all of it. That is the courage God asks of us: that we completely trust Him with our heart and lay everything down at His feet.

Being brave is asking God to guard your heart, the heart he fearfully and wonderfully made and the heart in which He abides. Everything you do flows from this heart (Proverbs 4:23), and letting go of the battle to protect your own heart and trusting Him to guard your heart is an act of great courage.

Being brave is rooting your faith in the Rock that can't be shaken and standing firm on His unbreakable foundations (Psalms 62:2). It takes courage to step off of the comfortable but unstable earthly foundations we've built for ourselves and standing firm on the foundation that always was and always will be steadfast.

Being brave is realizing Christ's power is made perfect in your weakness and allowing this truth to make you strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). It is when you come to Christ with your weakness and desperation that He empowers you with His strength and not your own. There is bravery in seeing the beauty in our inadequacy and in God's exceeding ability to provide.

And being brave is loving. For when we love, we are living out the identity of God for His being is love and He desires for us to mirror Him in that that live out love. Love recklessly. Love unconditionally. Love purely. And love bravely.

We can live out courage for Christ by worshipping Him in these ways, for when our lives become acts of worship, everything we do is brave. Even the smallest breath that is breathed in a life dedicated to Christ is courageous in that we have offered that breath of our lives to Him in an act of faith to Him.

Lay your heart at His feet today in boldness, and offer to Him your life, your breath which He has breathed into your lungs. This is worship. This is courage.



 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Selfish

Galatians 6:1-2

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ

I sin almost everyday in that I am a selfish person. But not selfish in the way most people would imagine when they think of the word selfish. I am selfish with my burdens. So often I am afraid of inconveniencing people with my burdens, thinking the load I carry is too impossibly big to share with any other person, even God. I have an innate desire to hold in all of my oppressions, all of my brokenness and fix it all myself. I tell myself that I am strong, that I can handle it on my own and that I can come out of these battles victorious. But the truth is that I can't. I am not strong- my being is composed merely of dust and a soul. I cannot handle my burdens on my own, nor was I designed to, and the more I hold it in the more my poorly built foundation cracks and bends beneath me. Slowly but surely I am learning everyday to completely lay my burdens at the feet of Christ and leave it in his hands. I am learning that Christ's power is made perfect in my weakness. I am learning that He is the cornerstone of all life, the unshakable foundation and unbreakable rock on which I stand. And I am learning that the Lord will fight for me, that I need only be still and surrender to His perfect will. He humbles me to release my greed of hoarding all my burdens and to freely give it all to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than anything I could ever ask or imagine. He shows me that He has provided me with people wiser than I am, who have walked this mile before and in whom I can confide all my deepest anxieties. Peace is found when we surrender all of our burdens to Christ, and share our burdens with those He has placed in our lives to love and care for us, who desire to carry our burdens and give us rest. And peace is found when we seek out those who are burdened and share with them the perfect peace and restoration that comes in laying our worries at the foot of the cross.

Come to God in this moment and lay down at His feet anything that is pressing on your heart- your fears, your worries, your insecurities, your sins. His heart breaks for you when you carry it all on your own, and He desires to alleviate your load. He is the God of restoration, and He will bring you through whatever storm and whatever battle you may be facing right now. Humble yourself and let Him into your heart so that He may carry your burdens for you. And pray that He would reveal to you someone with whom you can share your burdens, someone who will gladly carry your burdens and offer you wisdom to encourage you and bring you peace. Ask that He would also open your eyes to those burdened around you, that you may show them the peace and restoration that is found in Christ. Let His peace and truth settle in your soul today and bring you rest.

Madelynn


Sunday, March 31, 2013

Unexpected


Matthew 28: 5-9 (NIV)
The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee.There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them.“Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him.
 
When the women came expecting to find Jesus' broken body wrapped in the tomb, they trembled in holy reverence at the angel they saw and also out of fear that Jesus was not where they expected Him.  I can imagine their hearts stopping as they were afraid that someone had stolen His body or that something terrible had happened. There were struck by the unexpectedness of the situation, and frozen in fear. And then they received a message sent to them by God, alleviating their fears and instilling in them the confidence that their savior had risen and conquered death. I feel like so often are like the women at the tomb. We search for God in the places we expect to find in Him, in the places we want to find him and we are stricken with fear when we find the places in which we expected Him to be only empty tombs that could not contain Him. God is not a mundane God that He should be contained within the comfortable facets of the human imagination. No, rather he exceeds the limits of our Earthly expectations. He can only be found when we break  our comfortable cycles and embrace His reckless love that we cannot even begin to wrap our minds around. He is found when we recklessly run to Him despite our fears and fall at His feet to worship Him in desperate adoration. And as we come to abide in the sweet presence of our Savior, fear no longer has a grip on us because we are finally in the presence of perfect love, and perfect love casts out all fear.

 Lay down at the feet of Christ whatever fears may be paralyzing you in this moment, and embrace Him with reckless abandon. Know that He is not found in the expected and comfortable places of this world, but He is found in your brokenness and humility, when you break down the walls around your soul and let His perfect love come flooding in. Let this truth bring you peace, that you have a risen savior who has conquered your sins, conquered death, and reigns victorious.

Let Him in, and know that you are loved.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Stand Firm

2 Corinthians 1:21-22

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his spirit in our heart as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

When it seems the world is shaking all around you and nothing is certain, when you feel as though all that you built up in your life is crumbling alongside your dreams, and when the ground is ripped from beneath your feet and you are found on your knees in desperation, there is hope. As we come to God in whatever overwhelming circumstance we may face, he lifts us from the ground, out from our desperation and onto the solid cornerstone that is Christ. As we stand firm on the unshakable foundation that is Christ, God anoints us, setting our spirits apart to serve Him with abandon. You are His beloved, His precious child and prized portion. Before you even came to be, He wrote out all your days and prepared for you an incredible purpose to fulfill. His spirit abides in His beloved and promises to never leave you, to never forsake you and to give you a hope and a future as you live out the life story He has written for you.

Let this soak into your soul. That God has lifted you up. That He is your strong foundation. That Has anointed you, His beloved. His Spirit is alive and at work in you, and is guiding you along the path that God has paved for your life. Open your heart to Him today, and rest in this truth that when all seems to crumble and fall around, God will lift you up to solid ground in Christ.
 
You are loved. Live out that truth today :)
 
Madelynn

Monday, March 4, 2013

Medicine for the Over Thinker's Soul

Psalms 94:19
 
In the multitude of my inward thoughts, your comforts delight my soul.

To call me an over thinker would be an understatement. When it comes to the important decisions I make everyday, my mind automatically inclines to analyzing every last detail of the situation at hand. It seems daily that I fight against a current of a multitude of thoughts, often times unnecessary ones that only make me anxious and stressed. Even if you can't exactly relate to how I think, I feel like everyone encounters situations that push us into a cycle of over thinking and worrying that only digs a deeper hole in pit in which we were already stuck. It's tiring to over think, and it's incredibly taxing to be consumed by worry. Sometime I feel as if my mind never stops, like it's a machine whose gears keep turning and increasing in speed, burning out at the end of each day. My soul craves rest. My heart desires peace. And physically and spiritually all of my being is hungry for a comfort beyond the fleeting pleasures of this world.

When the gears race in my mind, and my soul is flooded with anxiety, God is peace. Purely and simply. Peace.

Sometimes my human heart forgets that God has already planned my life out. That He has written every page in my story and knows what lies in the future that I spend so much time worrying about. And sometimes I forget that God is peace, that He is joy and His comforts are meant to sustain my soul. He has an incredible purpose ahead for each of us. If only we'd stop playing tug-of-war with God over our futures and let Him be the medicine that cures our over thinking souls, we would know a deep and all too unfamiliar peace that stress has robbed from so many of us.

God is good. He is peace. He is joy. He is comfort. But ultimately He is God, the creator of your heart and the lover of your soul. Let Him in today, and let His peace settle in your weary soul.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Unchained

This past Thursday, a victory was won. Hearts had great reason to rejoice. And a step was taken by our nation to end the enslavement of thousands in our country. This past Thursday, Congress passed the renewal of the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, which expired in September 2011. This act aids in the prosecution of traffickers, imposing stiff penalties, and offers vital services for helping victims rebuild their lives. The issue had been put off in Congress for too long, and action against the growing issue of slavery in our country had been long over due. So when the act was passed, there was much reason to rejoice and celebrate the progress made by our Government in this movement to end modern day slavery. The bondage of the thousands in our country and the millions across the globe is a critical issue. It demands our awareness. It demands our attention. And it demands our action. The step taken by Congress is tremendous and wonderful. But it cannot stop there. Each and every one of us in every sphere of influence is called to act on bringing justice and freedom to the enslaved. And each and every of us is able to if we only step up and sacrifice for the enslaved.

We can be apart of bringing freedom to the 27 million that are physically in bondage today. But freedom can also be brought to us as well.

All of us have been or are in bondage to some oppressing force in our life. Whether it be our decisions, our addictions, our circumstances or our daily battles, we all know what it is for our hearts to be chaffed by the chains of this world. To be enslaved and in bondage to something is one of the heaviest burdens to bear, and is one that too many bear on their own, that too many carry to the point of breaking. Day in and day out, the chains grow heavier, and fresh wounds are made as we are worn. It's so easy to feel hopeless, to believe the lie that freedom is an infeasible thing in the shadow of our oppressions.

But there is a very really hope for you. There is restoration for you. And there is freedom for your soul. No matter how great the chains. No matter how deep the wounds. There is healing. And there is freedom.

"But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, 'Abba, Father.' So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir....It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 4:4-7 & 5:1)

Let this word soak into your soul. Open up your heart to Christ and let Him bring healing to your wounds and freedom from your chains. Let His mercy cover you and bring you peace. Let this truth of His freedom sustain you. And walk confident, not in yourself, but in God, and delight in your identity as a child and an heir of God. There is sweet joy in the victory that comes in finding freedom for our souls in Christ.

I hope this brings you freedom, joy and a sustaining peace throughout your day :)

And if you want to find out more about how you can bring freedom and justice to those enslaved in human trafficking, below are some organizations you can explore that will show you how to be a voice and a catalyst in the fight to end slavery.

http://www.love146.org/

http://www.ijm.org/

http://www.polarisproject.org/

http://www.freedomplaceus.org/

http://www.thea21campaign.org/

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

https://www.freetheslaves.net/SSLPage.aspx

Madelynn

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Dependency

John 15:5 (NIV)

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

We live in a world that prides itself off of self-sufficiency and success. There is so much pressure weighing on every individual to be a self-made man or woman, to be independent and successful by the world's terms. It's so easy to get pulled into the mindset that we have to carry the weight of the world on our own, that we have to build ourselves up and provide for ourselves our own strength, our own prosperity. We crave that feeling of independence and accomplishment so that we can take pride in ourselves and what we've done. But God calls us to do something radically different. He calls us to live in a state of complete dependency on Him, to live with a humbled Spirit that is desperate for His presence. Jesus boldly states in His word that apart from Him, we can do nothing. We cannot thrive. We cannot prosper. We cannot grasp the purpose we are meant to fulfill in our lives without Christ being central. Only when we remain in Christ and allow the presence of His Holy Spirit to abide in us will we be fruitful and prosperous according God's will. And God's will is unfathomably greater than any of the world's standards to which we used to be enslaved. There is freedom and prosperity in being submerged in the presence of God. There is a deep and fulfilling purpose to be cultivated in a life in Christ if we would only come and abide in the Father's presence and open our hearts for God to come and abide in us as well.

Bring to God any way in which you are struggling to provide for yourself. There are so many things that can burden us with a sense of urgency to act on our own and preserve ourselves. My prayer for you is that whatever urgency you may feel to be self sufficient would be replaced with a deep dependency on God, knowing that He will provide for you, He will make you prosperous according to His will, and He will unfailingly fill your life with purpose. I pray that you would come to the Father today and know what it is to have your desperation satisfied with His presence.

I pray that this word would deepen your hunger for God today and your dependency on Him. I hope you all have an amazing day! :)

Madelynn

Monday, January 14, 2013

Immersed

Ephesians 6:16 (NIV)

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
 
I love the comfort and sense of security that comes with reading about the armor of God in His word, especially the shield of faith. So often I feel like things are out of my control, like I'm being attacked from every side, and my only source of protection is my faith in God. My soul rejoices in knowing that in Christ we are more than conquerors against the forces that threaten us everyday. However, as I was reading this, I struggled to understand one word: extinguish. How can a shield extinguish a fire? Doesn't a shield merely deflect whatever hits it? As I began to study more into the armor of God and how it parallels with the actual armor of Roman soldiers at that time, I found that Romans soldiers used shields that were covered in leather and often soaked in water so that it would extinguish the flame-tipped arrows the enemy would fire at them in battle. And then God pressed on my heart why this random historical fact that I had stumbled upon was spiritually significant. Just as the Roman shield was soaked in water so that it would extinguish the fiery arrows of the enemy, so our faith that shields us should be so fully immersed in the Living Water that is Christ so that when the devil wages war on our souls, his flaming arrows that are designed to seer and scar our hearts will not only be deflected but extinguished and rendered useless so that the his detrimental fire cannot spread elsewhere. God knows that we are going to be attacked, and He knows that we are not strong enough on our own to defeat the forces that are pressed against our hearts daily. That is why He equips us with a steadfast faith in Christ, who is the life water for our souls, who not only satisfies us and nourishes our hearts but also unfailingly guards our hearts from all of the attacks of the enemy. It is when we completely immerse our souls in the true living water that is Christ that we are more than conquerors against the enemy. It is then that we will not be shaken but rather empowered and emboldened to go throughout the battles we face everyday with confidence that our hearts are guarded with this impenetrable shield of faith.
 
Open up to God about how you feel you are being attacked and the daily battles you face, and bring to Him whatever burdens are pressing on your heart in this moment. If you feel God stirring in your heart, commit yourself to being fully immersed in He who is the Living Water, and ask God to come into your heart and guard your soul with this steadfast faith He has equipped you with. Let your spirit be emboldened by the security that comes with being submerged in Christ and the ultimate protection that He brings.
 
My prayer for you is that today your faith would be completely submerged in the Living Water that is Christ and that you would have confidence in the protection God provides. I hope you all have an amazing day :)

Madelynn

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Well Done

Matthew 25:21 (NIV)
 
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"
 
Over the past few weeks, I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve my mom in new and challenging ways. On the Saturday before Christmas, my mom was taking pictures for a 50th wedding anniversary where she caught her heel on a mat outside of the reception and landed hard on her arms on the concrete. She has broken her left hand and her right arm, which means that most of the time I have to be her hands for her. And when you think about all of the things your hands do, it's pretty challenging to be someone else's hands while you're trying to juggle everything your hands need to be doing as well. But at the end of everyday as I finish helping her, my mom tells me, "Madelynn, you are such a good daughter." And I rejoice. Not because I am proud but rather because my heart is satisfied in knowing that my Heavenly Father is using me to bring joy to my mother's heart, and that she is well pleased with God at work within me. And every time she says those words, my soul turns restlessly within me with longing expectancy for the day when my Heavenly Father will look at me and say, "You have been such a good daughter. Well done, good and faithful servant." Just as I am having to be the hands of my mother to serve her, so I am also called to be the hands and feet of God. God calls us each into motion so that we may take the few things he has given us and faithfully go out and serve Him to bring Him all the glory. God has set each of us apart to live lives that glorify Him as we shine His light in our lives to those around us. And as the Father sees us living in His light and purposefully moving as His hands and feet He is well pleased with us. And He calls us to join Him in this satisfaction, to share with Him the sweet joy that comes with God's delight in us allowing Him to work through us.
 
Humble your heart before God and talk to Him about anything that is pressing on your heart in this moment. Allow His Holy Spirit to stir in you a passion to serve and live faithfully for God. Ask Him to come into your heart and guide you in new ways to be used by Him so that He may receive all the glory, honor and power, for He is so worthy. Cherish that your Father is well pleased with your heart and with how you are allowing Him to work in you and through you. Let your soul be satisfied in that sweet picture of standing before God one day as He says to you, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
 
I pray that this would bring you joy and satisfaction as God stirs a fresh passion within you. I hope you all have a marvelous day! :)

Madelynn

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Transformation

Ephesians 4:22-24
 
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
 
So many of us feel chained to our old way of life, the things we've done in the past that haunt us throughout our days. We become so consumed by what we once were and the actions we regret, and we begin to think that our past defines us. We try so hard to put death to our old selves and our ghosts of the past, but we struggle with replacing it with something new and better, and often end up running right back to the things that we tried to cast off in the first place. It becomes a vicious and consuming cycle that only ends up hurting us more than giving us the healing we so crave in the aftermath of our pasts. But here God calls us to something greater, something far more fulfilling. He calls us to completely cast off our old, corrupted ways of life and to be completely transformed into a new creation in Christ. As we are freed from our past and made into a new creation, we are also made to pursue a new and greater purpose in life: to be a mirror of the masterpiece that is Christ. We are created into new beings to reflect the righteousness and holiness of God so that all may see and enter into the beautiful state of transformation that comes with surrendering our lives to Christ. God is good; He is our Restorer, our Healer and our Father who comes to not only break the chains of our old selves but to transform us and recreate us into new beings with a deeper purpose in life that will never leave us empty and unsatisfied but rather fulfilled and sustained in Him.
 
Humble your heart and come to God with whatever may be burdening you from your past. Come to Him with raw honesty and abandonment, for God loves to hear your unveiled prayers. If you feel God pressing on your heart, ask Him to come in and break the chains of your past self that hinder you and to transform you into a new creation set apart for a greater purpose in Christ. Cherish this moment and the joy that comes with restoration.
 
I pray that you would find incredible joy today in knowing that you are a new creation in Christ and that you are so loved. I hope you all have a wonderful day!
 
Madelynn