The Present

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." -Philippians 3:12-16

With graduation less than two months away, I'm entering into a new season of transition. Everyday I'm bombarded with hundreds of wildly exciting and scary thoughts of the future. I dream of college, where I'll be living, the people I'll meet and the places I'll see. But I also worry- about leaving my family, the mistakes I'll make and how I'll make it in such a huge city. And I dwell- I think deeply on my past, the good and the bad, what I'll be leaving behind and how all of it will shape me.

I get so caught up in this tug-of-war between the past and the future that I forget to live in the present. Pulled in a thousand different directions by a a thousand different thoughts, I struggle in this never ending limbo between what has happened and what has yet to come. Living as a vagabond between the past and the future, I deny myself of one of the greatest gifts God has to offer me: the present.

When I plan my life based on my past and what I expect for my future, I create a false allusion for myself that I have it all together. I think I know everything based on my past and that I've have everything mapped out based on what I think my future holds. But truth be told, I know absolutely nothing. I realize the utter bankruptcy of my soul only when God invades my heart and whispers, You don't have control over this. I do. Let go. And press into my presence.

So I'm letting go. I declare that I have nothing apart from God. But in Him, I have exceedingly more than I could ever ask or imagine. My goal is this: To press into His presence in each present moment. To endure for the joy that is set before me. And to live up to the grace I have already attained. For in Christ, there is no other standard to which we hold ourselves. I'm abandoning my efforts to compete with my past self and measure up to the image of me I want to attain. Instead, I'm living into the identity to which Christ has called me: Grace. Purely, simply Grace. I'm taking hold of that for which Christ took hold of me, to press into His mercy, to press into His sufficiency, and to press into His purpose for me in the present. His presence in this present moment is enough for me.